Last night I was talking to a friend and it got me thinking over the past few years, and all my relationships in my family. I have four brothers and two sisters. Sadly, I was not the most wonderful older sister, especially to one of my brothers. It caused so much hurt and resentment in our lives because of it. I wasn't careful about how I spoke to others, or how they felt when I said things. I've always loved to tease people, but it wasn't always a good thing. I didn't know when not to, and in what ways could cause hurt feelings. Sometimes I didn't care if it did, and that was where my problem really was.
Several years ago I realized how much pain I had caused my brother, and all those around me. It was very hard for me to admit that I had been wrong all those years, and not been thoughtful in any way. My pride wanted to just say that it was my brother's fault, and he had taken my teasing the wrong way. So, I started really working on repairing the damage I had done to our friendship and gaining his trust. I also had to keep myself from ever falling back into the way I had previously acted toward him.
During the time of healing I read a book called "The Five Love Languages". As I studied my family and what their love languages were I found that my brother's love language was words of affirmation. It all made sense then. By teasing him I had been tearing him down with the words I spoke. Even by calling him my little brother, or immature, crushed him. It helped me to also know how to best build him up. Giving him a hug, while still nice, wasn't the same as telling him how much I loved him, praising him, and how I respected him. I started working on sharing things with him and saying how I knew I could trust him. As time went on I started gaining his trust. Of course I had to really try to seek God also, needing His strength to fight against my bad habits.
There were things about the book I didn't agree with, but I found it to be very helpful to just know the five love languages and look for how I could best serve my family, and bless them. It is not enough to speak your love language or the one that comes easiest. I needed to study each person in my family and find out what makes them feel loved individually.
I am so thankful for each of my siblings, and feel that I have wonderful friendships with each of them! God has really worked on me and shown me many areas that needed to be worked on...and some that still need a lot of work! But I am so glad that my family relationships have been repaired, and we all just have so much fun! :) Forgiveness is such an amazing gift. Christ has set the example of forgiveness for us. We need to always set aside any quarrels and resentment we may have held for others and learn to forgive and begin again. I pray that the Lord will continue to work in my life and make me the woman He has made me to be...using my weaknesses to produce a stronger character through it.
Several years ago I realized how much pain I had caused my brother, and all those around me. It was very hard for me to admit that I had been wrong all those years, and not been thoughtful in any way. My pride wanted to just say that it was my brother's fault, and he had taken my teasing the wrong way. So, I started really working on repairing the damage I had done to our friendship and gaining his trust. I also had to keep myself from ever falling back into the way I had previously acted toward him.
During the time of healing I read a book called "The Five Love Languages". As I studied my family and what their love languages were I found that my brother's love language was words of affirmation. It all made sense then. By teasing him I had been tearing him down with the words I spoke. Even by calling him my little brother, or immature, crushed him. It helped me to also know how to best build him up. Giving him a hug, while still nice, wasn't the same as telling him how much I loved him, praising him, and how I respected him. I started working on sharing things with him and saying how I knew I could trust him. As time went on I started gaining his trust. Of course I had to really try to seek God also, needing His strength to fight against my bad habits.
There were things about the book I didn't agree with, but I found it to be very helpful to just know the five love languages and look for how I could best serve my family, and bless them. It is not enough to speak your love language or the one that comes easiest. I needed to study each person in my family and find out what makes them feel loved individually.
I am so thankful for each of my siblings, and feel that I have wonderful friendships with each of them! God has really worked on me and shown me many areas that needed to be worked on...and some that still need a lot of work! But I am so glad that my family relationships have been repaired, and we all just have so much fun! :) Forgiveness is such an amazing gift. Christ has set the example of forgiveness for us. We need to always set aside any quarrels and resentment we may have held for others and learn to forgive and begin again. I pray that the Lord will continue to work in my life and make me the woman He has made me to be...using my weaknesses to produce a stronger character through it.
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