Psalm 139

Mom and I were having our Bible time together outside on this lovely day, and we read this chapter together before beginning our separate time with God.

Psalm 139

For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

 ¹ O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
 ² You know my sitting down and my rising up;
         You understand my thought afar off.
 ³ You comprehend my path and my lying down,
         And are acquainted with all my ways.
 ⁴ For there is not a word on my tongue,
         But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
 ⁵ You have hedged me behind and before,
         And laid Your hand upon me.
 ⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
         It is high, I cannot attain it.
       
 ⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
         Or where can I flee from Your presence?
 ⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
         If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
 ⁹ If I take the wings of the morning,
         And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
 ¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me,
         And Your right hand shall hold me.
 ¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall^[a] on me,”
         Even the night shall be light about me;
 ¹² Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
         But the night shines as the day;
         The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
       
 ¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
         You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 ¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;^[b]
         Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well.
 ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
         When I was made in secret,
         And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
 ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them.
       
 ¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How great is the sum of them!
 ¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
         When I awake, I am still with You.
       
 ¹⁹ Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
         Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
 ²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly;
         Your enemies take Your name in vain.^[c]
 21 Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
         And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
 ²² I hate them with perfect hatred;
         I count them my enemies.
       
 ²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
         Try me, and know my anxieties;
 ²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
         And lead me in the way everlasting.




It's SO amazing.  Truly.... God's love for us is indescribable.  It amazes me that He, who knows EVERYTHING about me - even things I don't know about myself - loves me more than anyone else could!  Wow.... why do we look for fulfillment in humans when we have more love than we can ever comprehend already?!?!  
The song "Beautiful" by MercyMe is a wonderful reminder of this to me!  I've been listening to it lately and it just speaks to me so powerfully!!!!
Here is a link to it:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hth7GzAoXos
He thinks we're beautiful.  That's all that matters.  It's our hearts that makes us beautiful (guys, you, too!  Not the "girly" beautiful.... just beautiful in who you are, and who God made you to be.  It's the kind of word that describes something I can't describe.)

Just thought I'd share that.

Love Never Fails

God sure has been teaching me a lot lately!!!

Just recently He has been teaching me about love.  His kind of love.  Our family is going through 1 Corinthians 13, and we're going to memorize it.  It's such a wonderful chapter.  So important!!!!!!!!!  Also, at church on Sunday the sermon was on love.  It was pretty amazing!  So, it's all got me thinking about love and what it REALLY means to love someone.  I've heard the quote a lot, "Love is not a feeling, love is a choice".  I believe that you can be "in love" and it's a feeling, but you can't love someone unconditionally with just feelings.  We are all sinners, and it's not even in our power to just love someone like that easily.  We have to pray, and ask God to give us HIS love for others.

At church Mr. Unruh was talking about "loving the people you have a hard time loving".  If you are having a hard time loving someone, then you should try all the more to love them.  You should not avoid them, or slander about them, and their sins.  We have no right to judge anybody!!!!!!!!!  We're all so sinful!  It may be harder for us to get along with someone because they struggle with something we don't, and because it's not our struggle, it somehow seems worse.

I know a couple people who I feel are very hard to love.  It's not very often I feel that way.  I used to be way more prone to not liking people when I was younger.  I am a very critical thinker, and very analytical.  I let it be used in a way to see other's faults instead of virtues.  It was very hard to overcome that tendency.  Now, with God's help I have completely changed!  I still have many sins, but God has given me a love for others that I never had before.  I was a very selfish little girl.  I can't believe how I used to think of others.  Now, one of my biggest pet peeves of others is gossiping.  I can't stand it when anyone is speaking bad about anyone else!!!  Even if I agree, it really makes me upset.  Probably because I struggled with slandering others, and know how bad it feels to judge someone, also what's even worse is when you judge them prematurely and then later realize that it wasn't true, or learned to love them so much in spite of their problems.  It made me feel so guilty to have thought things about others.

I want to try really hard to reach out to the unlovely and people who are harder for me to love.  They may need it more than other people who I find easy to love.  

Also, the people I have a hard time loving right now I don't even know well.  They're hardened, and just not nice!  Who knows what their lives are like?  I see so many people at Branson Landing who I know need to be loved.  They may look all cocky, or seem prideful, but sometimes I can see a longing underneath.  A sensitive heart that has been broken many times.  They're hurting.  They're afraid of this world and don't know how to live a joyful life.  They're losing hope and don't have Christ's saving grace.  It's so sad!  It makes me want to just reach out to them and share that I know someone who can, and WILL take away all their pain, their past.  It's so hard to see them just walking along not knowing the peace I have each day.  They don't know the purpose for their lives.  They long for love, think they've found it, realize that the person isn't perfect and breakup, or get divorced.  It's awful.  They don't realize that no person can satisfy that longing for love.  Only our precious Savior can.  Romance isn't enough.  Oh that they only knew!!!!  So much hurt and pain...and for what?
We, as humans, are so quick to give up.  You make a friend, become "best friends" and then decide that you aren't as much alike as you thought and one most likely will find a new "best friend".  We're all looking for fulfillment.  We want to feel special.  I'm as guilty in this.  I've never actually had a best friend.  I didn't want to be dropped by a friend.  I have some very, very special friends who I love very much, but not just one, besides Laura (my amazing sister).  I'm not saying that having a best friend is bad.  I just have seen some dear friends get very hurt after being "best friends" with someone, just to have them find another "best friend" and forget you in their excitement about the new friend.  It's pretty hard to go through that!  I think having good, steady friends is the best!  I love my true friends.  The ones I can trust completely to not "drop" me for someone else and not even care about me anymore.
  Have you ever just been walking somewhere and see someone who just doesn't have a smile on their face?  Instead of just looking away and thinking they must be having a bad day, I try to smile at them and see how they react.  Sometimes they just look away and move on, but other times it's SO satisfying!  Their face brightens up and you see that your smile made their day.  Just the simple act of love.  Showing someone the joy of Christ.  It always makes me feel so wonderful!!!  I look around for someone else who I can smile at! :) It's so much fun!  That's showing love, I think.
I just think it's so important.  It's the second greatest commandment anyway, after we should love the Lord our God!!!  That's pretty huge!!!  People treat it as way less important.
How much time do we show love to others?  I bet that if we decided to look around us in search of ways to love others our lives would change drastically!  We may think we love people already, but what if we looked for ways to show Christ's love?  What would happen?  How many people would be blessed and see God through us?  That would be an amazing testimony to others!  It would maybe become infectious and you might notice others acting different around you too, because they see how you're acting!
Personally I want to try it!!!  Yes, it would be hard.... I would have a very hard time with my family members.  It's one thing to love at different moments, but it's one thing to make it your goal to love at ALL times.
Who wants to join me? =)

Here's an amazing song by Brandon Heath called, "Love Never Fails". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nQy-aP_Koo
Here's also another song by him called "Give Me Your Eyes".  It also really correlated with what I was saying!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5AkNqLuVgY&feature=related

Contentment

Okay, I've been thinking a lot about contentment lately, and about what it really means to be content with in life.  Not just being content with the "big" things.  That's not everything.  Being content in EVERY area of my life, even the "little" things that don't really matter.  Sure, it's easy to say that I'm content.  I'm content with where I live, that I'm homeschooled, the family God put me in, etc...  Here are some examples of things that could be "little" things: "I wish my hair was curly/straight!", "I wish I was taller.", "why couldn't God have made me shorter?!", "It's not fair that he/she's more athletic than me!", "why wasn't I built stronger?", "My nose is too big." "I'm unattractive." "I don't like the way I'm built"..... Those are just some examples of what people say about how they LOOK!  What is that saying to God?  It's telling Him that you don't like how he made you.  You're complaining to Him, saying He didn't do a good enough job on you.  Hello!  He made you!!!!!!!!!  You can't even be content with how you look?  How will you ever learn to be content with the rest of your life if you can't get past your looks!  God has a reason for everything.  I've thought some of these things myself, that's why I'm convicted of this.  It's all about you!  You aren't content with who you are because you don't think you measure up to the world's standards.  Well, maybe you don't.  So what?  Who are you trying to please?  Man, or God?  It shouldn't matter what the world thinks of you.  If God didn't make you naturally athletic you can do a few things about it; try to become more athletic by practicing, find an activity that you can do, and enjoy doing, try your best when you're in a group of people who are doing an athletic activity (and don't get embarrassed, people who really matter aren't going to judge you for messing up when you're trying your best) forget athletic activities, or you can just pout and make excuses.  I'm not a naturally athletic person. I don't really care enough to put tons of time into it.  I would rather pursue other interests.  I am exercising though, because I want to be in shape.  Each morning I ride a stationary bike for 30-45 minutes.  Riding a stationary bike can get quite uninteresting.  Even after about five minutes I start getting bored.  That's NOT good if you wan't to keep exercising.  You can quit, find another activity you enjoy more, find someone to exercise with so you can talk, or what I did was I bought an ipod.  So now I can listen to my favorite music while I ride.  It helps SO much!  Listening to energizing music is really good, too.  I love to listen to Josh Groban and Classical music, but not while I'm exercising.  That kind of music I save for when I want to relax, or just hanging out.
Back to contentment..... sorry.  I can tend to get sidetracked.  My point is that we should really examine ourselves.  Our hearts.  What's really deep inside.  Do we say things before we think about what we're saying?  I know that I do.  Discontentment is no fun!  It makes me feel terrible inside!
One thing I have a hard time being content about is my situation as far as animals/living on a farm go.  I LOVE having animals.  I had them for years as a girl, but then when we moved, I didn't realize the importance of them to me.  Since we moved six years ago I haven't been able to have any animals besides pets (dogs, cats and bunnies).  Some of you may not understand how I can love animals so much.  But, I do.  It's who I am.  Being around a farm and animals gives me a feeling like no other!!!!  I'm serious!  I feel at home on a horses back, and around a farm and farm animals.  It becomes a source of discontentment, and can steal my joy if I let it.  I just need to put my perspective right and know that God is in control, and He has a plan for my life, and my desires.  I'm SO thankful that I get to start having good gardens this year!  That definitely helps, even though it doesn't stop my dreaming.  I also have friends who own horses and are more than happy for me to ride with them if I get the time, so that's a definite blessing!!!!  I LOVE to ride!!!  Maybe someday I'll be able to get a horse.  Just now, I need to "bloom where I'm planted". =)

"Good Christian" Books Tempting You To Struggle? Who's In Control? Who am I?

The past couple weeks I started a series of Christian books.  They're fiction, based on characters from Bible times.  I thought, "These should be really good, they're about Jesus' life, and people during that time!"  So, I just started the fourth book.  I was sitting last night thinking.  I was feeling very discontent with my life.  I felt terrible. I couldn't understand how I felt so terrible.  I started thinking about the books.  I asked myself "though those books are Christian, and about Christ, are they drawing my heart TOWARD God?"  The answer was no.  Second question; "are they making me discontented with my life?"  Yes.  Why?  They weren't "romance novels" or even love stories.  But, they did have romance in them.  Not too much, but that little bit affected me.  I'm a girl.  Girls naturally are drawn to love and romance.  Right now, in this stage of my life, I am trying to keep my heart pure, and focus on God and my relationship with Him.  By reading books that have Him in them, but are still drawing my heart toward a desire that shouldn't be there, is not good.  I couldn't believe how much difference it made by just reading those books.  I realized that I wasn't focusing on God like I had before, and thinking too much about my future, and longing for something I can't have right now.  Also, it made me realize that I think of love and romance in a bad light.  I shouldn't think of it as something that will fulfill my desires by having someone to love me so much.  Only God can do that.  Fiction can give the impression that things, and people can give you what you want and make you happy.  Well, happiness is from happenings.  What I really want to have is real JOY!!!!  Joy is not based on happenings.  It's a contentment in every circumstance.  It's putting Jesus first (J), Others second (O) and You last (Y).  That spells JOY!  It is unconditional.  Not conditional, from your conditions.  Joy I find, is very hard to have.  So much can destroy it.  We need to strive to have it in our hearts, and live each day, every moment with that in us.  This is not just for girls.  Guys may not have the same struggles with wanting love, but they have other struggles.  They also need to keep their eyes on the Lord, and not get carried away by the little things in this world that aren't even "bad".
This just really stood out to me, and I felt called to write about it.  It's humbling to me, because I don't want others to know I struggle.  I don't want to look like the sinner I am.  Lust was my problem.  I didn't even know it.  Yes, girls struggle with it, too.  Love.  Love is so good, so right, so pure, so godly.  But, love can also be a stumbling block.  Something we actually put as an idol for ourselves.  I don't want that.  Know what?  That love that is hurtful to us isn't really love!  It's just our picture of love.  It's infatuation.  Real love isn't a feeling, it's a choice.  It's not easy to really love someone.  We have to go through trials, and really knowing someone enough to see their worst faults to really love them.  Yes, I believe I love people I know, but that's not the same kind of love.  The love we need to strive to have is the kind God shows us in His Word, and in our everyday lives.  It's also "tough love".  How many of us really know, and have REAL love????  I know that I have a long way to go to really know what it is, and to fully put it into practice in every area of my life.  I'm working on seeing the good in everyone and not judging them, but it can be very hard, especially when I'm around other people who start talking bad about someone else.  It's hard to speak up and ask them to stop.....and it's VERY easy to join in.  It's so sad!  We need to cry out to the Lord, our Savior.  He's our only hope!!!!!!!  Hope.  Such a wonderful word.  Probably one of my favorite things to hear.  We always have hope.  HE is hope.  He can put joy in our hearts.  We just need to ask Him.  He's ready to mold us and to make us more like Him.  More than ready.  He LONGS to hear our cry for help.  We need to realize how worthless we are withOUT Him.  We're nothing by ourselves.  We can't do anything for ourselves.  We're worthless.  But, with Him as our guide we can do great things!  Because, it's not us.  It's HIM working through us.  We just always need to acknowledge that, and make sure other know it, too.  NEVER take credit for what He does!  He is EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!

Well....I don't really know how that all came out.... It certainly wasn't planned.... by me.  But, I know who must have planned it...... =D

Love to you all!

In HIM,
Summer